Transitioning From Work To Home
As a licensed therapist in Washington and Michigan for many years, one of the issues frequently encountered is the need to transition from the workplace to our home environment, without bringing the stress and frustration from the workday into the sanctuary of your home.
I once had a job with an extremely toxic workplace. I found that I was taking some of the toxicity home with me. We had recently adopted an 8-year-old, who had a history of abusive family environments. He needed to feel safe and good in his new home. After trying several things that didn’t work well enough, I developed a three-step process that has worked very well for myself and others.
As a personal therapist, I help individuals with anger management, grief and loss, and life transition therapy. I have found the following three phases of transitioning from work to home can be very helpful in leaving the stressful work environment behind. These phases are Past, Present, and Future.
Phase 1 – The Past
At the end of the workday on your drive home, lower both passenger side windows about an inch. If you don’t have electric windows, just open the driver side window. As you drive, replay the day’s events backwards, both good and bad. As you do, visualize each thought going out the window. There need be no judgement or problem solving, just identifying short scenarios, and letting them go.
Once you have finished with the day’s memories, open the windows further and let the air rush through! Noticing whether the air is hot or cold takes you out of the past, and into the present. This is what meditation does.
Phase 2 – The Present
After the fresh air has cleaned out the car, close the windows, and think of it as actually closing on the workday. You can say “that was phase one of the day, and now we’re on to the next phase”. Turn on some tunes, become present with the song and get into the music! Wake your brain up by looking around at things you may not have previously noticed. Be present with your vision and thoughts of what you see.
In this phase you are neither at work nor at home. You are present at this moment in space and time. Take a few deep breaths, check your posture and sit up tall. Good posture affects mood. Check to see if your feet are in a relaxed position. Sing, loudly; particularly if you don’t sing well! Do this until you are 10-15 minutes from home.
Phase 3 – The Future
Now you look for a marker where you will transition at the end of every workday into the final stage, the Future. It could be any physical thing in nature, such as a large tree, your offramp, entering the city limits, or a certain street you cross. Go into the future in your mind by seeing yourself at home, parking, and walking in the door.
What do you look forward to when you come home? A loved one, child or pet coming to greet you? Your favorite chair, books, records, or your yard? Play that scene in your head of the first few minutes of being home. When you arrive home, compare your thoughts to what you actually do, signaling your brain that this is important to you, and helping you leave the workday behind.
I hope these three phases of transition from work to home will be useful to you. If you need help with life transitions, grief and loss, or anger management, I am available for telehealth and virtual therapy. I’d love to meet you, and to help you with your personal therapy needs.
